Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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