Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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