garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
You did what with his pubic hair?
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