i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
