VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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