I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
