just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
