This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
