Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
