Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
