There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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