have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
