May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
worst night to have a conscience
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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