I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
