they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
