question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
