Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
