Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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