He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
