so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
