Walk of Shame. In a state park.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Randomize
