The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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