If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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