My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
