margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If that was your dad, he is hot
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
