you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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