Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
When are your genitals available?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
