I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
