So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
