dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
