i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
