Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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