So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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