She went from zero to smokin in five shots
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
