i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
