we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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