I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
