at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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