just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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