the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We're too hungover to prance.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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