its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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