Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
