Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
