I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
