I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
