I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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