I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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