They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
