I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
