The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
