doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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