shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
